Adventures in Aetherea
The Goddess and the Geek
Book 2
“Dougal didn’t say he was madly in love with her then?” Melody wanted this clarified. “I’m of the mind that he does love you, Charise. You are a lovable person after all.” Melody was ever the cheerleader; she was good at it too.
“Bless you, Mel.”
Her friend bestowed a smile on her so bright it chased the lingering storm clouds away outside. The sun broke through the clouds and the birds began to sing. And suddenly, there was a rainbow and it ended in the McKenna backyard. Only, no pot of gold waited at the end, instead a small stick, a bowl and some sheaves of wheat were bathed in its multicolored light.
“Oh bloody hell.” Gen looked out the window, her mouth agape.
“What?” They all ran to the large window that looked out on the backyard.
“What in the hell is that?” Lilly snapped and started to open the door.
“No!” Diana stopped her and put her hand on the knob. “Don’t go out there.”
“What is it?” Charise narrowed her eyes. “Oh no, I don’t want it! They can’t make me take it back. I retired.” She whimpered.
“Apparently you’ve been pulled off the bench.” Diana injected dryly.
“If you’ve blessed me and I turn up pregnant, I am suing you for child support, Charise!” Melody’s voice quavered with both anger and not a little fear.
“Oh blow me.” Charise growled, snatching the door open and stomping outside. The others followed standing well back. She stared up into the sky and then shook her fist. “I said I quit you bitches!”
Diana pulled the others back into the house just in time to avoid the bolt of lightening that hit the yard and the woman standing in it.
*****
“My you’ve developed a dirty mouth.”
Charise opened her eyes and looked up into the wizened face of her arch nemesis, Corrie or Corrine. The woman was ancient and ageless at the same time. She wore a long gray cloak that ended in a ragged hem at her bare feet. Charise looked closer and saw that they were painted a bright green with sparkles in them. She had a staff in one hand and a cup in the other.
“What happened?” She sat up too quickly and moaned. “Get those things away from me.” She and the woman were in a black void, with only their bodies providing light by which to see. There was nothing here, no smell or sound penetrated.
“You got hit by a bolt of lightening. Brigid doesn’t take kindly to being called a bitch.” Corrie replied, sucking on her teeth and chuckling. “I myself feel if you are going to be one, be the best bitch you can be. It’s something to be proud of.”
Rather than listen to Corrie’s slightly feminist rant, she put her head in her hands and sighed loud and long. “Why am I here? I didn’t want to come back, you know. Not after what happened.”
“We know.” Corrie sighed and crouched down until she was eye level with her younger counterpart. “But sometimes, you have to do things you don’t want to get the things that you need.” Her cryptic statement covered a multitude of sins. It could apply to anything from Dougal to that new pair of shoes she wanted to buy but was denying herself for reasons, which had nothing to do with finance and everything to do with self-control.
“What do you have there, Corrie?” She eyed the staff and chalice warily. “I don’t want those, they aren’t even mine.”
“They are your objects of office, your icons, if you will. They symbolize what and who you are. You know very well what they are, why do you ask such foolish questions?” Corrie’s voice was harsh but she heard the tone of nervousness beneath it.
“Oh, give it up. I don’t go in for all that shit. I never did. I mean, a few flowers, some incense that’s all any goddess needs to make her happy. All that other stuff is just trappings.” Charise insisted.
“Brigid would not like to hear that. But, you never were much in for the extras. That’s what I always liked about you. One thing I didn’t like is that you always sold yourself short.” Corrie sat down and folded her legs tailor fashion, showing herself to be much spryer than she looked.
Charise rolled her eyes and got ready for the ‘you have potential’ lecture. Instead, she got a smack on the back of her head. “Hey! Old woman, I’m a goddess, don’t smack me in the head like some errant schoolboy.” She grumbled and got out of the woman’s reach. The bloody old bat, smacked her silly at every turn. It’s a wonder she had a brain left in her head.
“I’m not here to lecture. We don’t have time for that. You are and always will be a spring deity. You’re loosely tied to Cernunnos, who had those stupid hounds made up in the first place.” Corrie began and suddenly stopped. “Oh well, balderdash, I can’t tell you more, to do so would cause a paradox of epic proportions, yadda, yadda, yadda, and pah! Anyway, take this,” She handed her the staff.
“Ew! Is this what I think it is? Ooh!” Charise held it between two fingers. “It’s a penis one. I don’t have a penis.”
“You do now.” The crone cackled merrily, her long gray hair rustled with the living things that were in it. Not bugs, things lived within Corrie’s hair and cloak, things that came out at night and devoured the day. She was a moon goddess, as Charise had always thought she was, apparently she thought wrong. “Also, this.” The chalice was something familiar, being a female symbol of fertility to many religions throughout the world.
On the chalice, small carvings of pomegranates, mulberries, acorns and other fruits that symbolized her specialty were carved in bas-relief. It was made of a strange metal, silver in color but with a matte finish and a feeling of warmth like living skin. Charise shuddered when she took it in her hands. It felt as if it were breathing. “What is this?” She whined.
“It’s the cup of life. You will need it. This is a staff of power, which you will also need. Stop making that face or it will freeze like that.” She snapped.
“Uh huh, Corrie, how many times have I heard that?” She smiled at the older woman fondly. “I remember meeting you for the first time when I was very young.”
“You were never young, Charise. You only became that way when it suited your needs. You are much more powerful than you know and much less frivolous than you’d have everyone think. Go in peace, blessings to your endeavors all that rot. Oh and as for the man.” Corrie allowed her to aid her in standing. “He’s hot. Make him wear something besides those awful button-down nerd shirts. He needs a good wardrobe assistant is all.”
“Have you been spying on me?” Charise’s gut clenched in dread of Corrie knowing about her blunder. She wasn’t convinced she hadn’t done her magic on Dougal, no matter what Lilly said to the contrary.
“Nay, I don’t spy. I watch over you. There is a distinct difference.” Corrie informed her loftily.
“What the hell is the difference?”
“Spying involves treachery. Watching over is only babysitting without the benefit of raiding the parent’s pantry.” She stood there looking at her for a long time before she sighed and turned to yell into the blackness. “Brigid, ye deaf old bat, send the girl back, she has things to do!”
She turned back to Charise and to her surprise, hugged her tightly. “Be well, be careful and most of all, be happy.” She grinned, showing off her startling white teeth in the process. Goodness, the divinity union must have a very good dental plan.
“Wait! I need to knowB .” But it was too late; Brigid was already hurling her back into her physical body with all speed. Charise felt her astral self flow back into the human shaped housing that had so long held it.
“Crim a nee.” She breathed out when she had actual lungs to breathe with again. “Stupid old biddies, giving me that Yoda speak.” She sat up and looked around. The other women were standing in a semi-circle around her.
“You uh, what the hell is that?” Lilly pointed to the objects that moments before had been sheaves of wheat and a basket of fruit.
“Charise,” Gen’s acerbic tones cut through the remaining haze that fogged her brain. “Tell me that is not what I think it is.”
She looked down at the things that were in her hands and sighed in defeat. “It is.”
“Eew! She has a damned dildo of divinity. Ack!” Gen did a little dance to show her displeasure. “That thing is so nasty. Put it down, you don’t know where it’s been.”
“Shut up, Gen, or I know where it can be.” Charise used the >staff’ and yes, she was quite aware of what the term implied, to stand up. It took all she had to keep her divine dignity around her and not snicker along with Katia and Diana. Mel just stared at it with thinly veiled horror.
“That is the biggest penis I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” Lilly reached her hand out to touch it. It wasn’t all that penis shaped, but you got the gist of the references involved, especially when you looked at the knobbed topper on the staff.
“It is not a penis. Gah!” Charise shook the, er, penis thing at her. “I mean, seriously do you think I=d have a huge woodB .” She gave up when Gen started to snicker.
“Wood, she said wood.”
“Hee, hee, hee.” Diana followed suit and soon all were laughing.
“Oh lovely, fine. Why didn’t they just tape a kick me sign on my back and be done with it?” Charise grunted and turned to head inside.
“Ur, Charise?” Katia put her hand on her back and she heard a rustling of paper. “They did.” The others burst out into insane giggles at that and Charise decided it was time to go home and have a bubble bath. Some days it did not pay to be a divine diva of the first order.
“We love you.” Gen called. “I mean, not as much love as that thing represents, but a whole lot.”
“Kiss my ass.” Charise called back before she conjured a puff of smoke that she made sure blanketed the entire party of twits still rolling on the ground laughing. Her exit was magnificent, or would have been if she hadn’t tripped over her staff at the last minute to tumble out of sight instead of the graceful exit she wanted.
She arrived in front of her house and kicked at the staff muttering beneath her breath. “How in the hell do men manage? Bah!”
Demonic Inspiration
